Text
by Renchikara
Summary: What if the Bleach characters all had phones? What kind of messages would they send to each other?
1. Chapter 1

**Rukia: **So this is a mobile telephone device?

**Ichigo: **Yeah. We just call them cell phones.

**Rukia: **That was quick! They're certainly more effective than Hell Butterflies!

**Ichigo: **Uh, yeh, sure. Glad u like it.

**Rukia: **That's appalling spelling, Michigan.

**Ichigo: **Michigan?!

**Rukia:** It's some stupid thing called auto correct. The closest word it has to your name is Michigan.

**Ichigo: **Seriously?! U no u can disable auto correct, right?

**Rukia: **What is up with your spelling?!

**Ichigo: **It's called text talk.

**Rukia: **I find it difficult to believe that anyone would ever use such a ridiculous choice of language.

**Ichigo: **Welcome to the real world, Rupiah.

**Rukia: **Rupiah?

**Ichigo: **Ah. That would be the closest word to ur name.

.

**Rukia: **This stupid auto correct is driving me insane!

**Ichigo: **It's American. U can type in any Japanese word and it tells u that u've spelt a word wrong.

**Rukia: **How do I get rid of it?!

**Ichigo: **I'll let u find out :P

**Rukia: **… you don't know how, do you Strawberry?

**Ichigo: **HEY!

**Orihime: **Hey guys! Catsuit gave me ur numbers!

**Ichigo: **?

**Orihime: **Sorry. I meant Tatsuki gave me ur numbers.

**Ichigo: **U c, Rukia? Everyone uses text talk. Perhaps ur just incapable? LOL.

**Rukia: **Is that so? How is it that Orifice is able to talk with us?

**Rukia: **Sorry, auto correct again. I meant, how is Orihime able to talk with us?

**Uryu: **Group chat.

**Ichigo: **ARGH! WHEN DID YOU JOIN?!

**Uryu: **WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME BEING HERE, STRAWBERRY?!

**Ichigo: **FUDGE OFF DANISH!

**Ichigo: **I MEANT ISHIDA, NOT DANISH! FUDGE!

**Chad: **Fudge?

**Ichigo: **FUDGING AUTO CORRECT!

**Rukia: **LOL. I believe I'm getting the hang of this, Ichigo. What was that about me being incapable?

**Ichigo: **SHUT THE FUDGE UP!

.

**Orihime: **Hey I've got a gr8 idea! Let's give the Soul Reapers cell phones!

**Ichigo: **o_O No Orihime. That is a very _bad _idea.

**Uryu: **Rude.

**Ichigo: **I don't give shit. Could u imagine everyone in the Soul Society texting each other all the time? The gossip would be terrible! Besides, I could so see Kenpachi sending messages like 'I'm coming to kill u now'!

**Orihime: **… what if we gave the Arrancars cell phones?

**Ichigo: **o_O

**Uryu: **o_O

**Rukia: **o_O

**Chad: **o_O

**Grimmjow: **:)

**Ichigo: **OH HOLY SHIT ORIHIME WHAT HAVE U DONE?!

**Ulquiorra: **._.

**Ichigo: **oh dear god someone help us...

**Kenpachi: **HEY ICHIGO! I'M COMING TO KILL U AFTER A NICE LONG FIGHT!

**Ichigo:** D:

.

**Ichigo: **Hey Rukia can u give me Surabaya's number?

**Rukia: **Who?

**Ichigo: **Sorry. Auto correct. Can u give me Byakuya's number?

**Rukia: **No.

**Ichigo: **Please?! I wanna annoy the shit out of him!

**Rukia: **And that, Michigan, is the reason I won't give it to you.

**Rukia: **I meant Ichigo. ¬_¬

**Ichigo:** If u won't give it 2 me, I'll just ask Rennin.

**Rukia: **Auto correct?

**Ichigo: **I meant Renji.

**Rukia: **What makes you think Renji will have it?

**Ichigo: **¬_¬

**Ichigo: **I'm pretty sure Renji has Byakuya's number. He _is _his beloved lieutenant after all.

**Rukia: **What are you trying to say, Michigan?

**Rukia: **Ichigo, even.

**Ichigo: **… nothing at all :)

**Renji: **Hey, guess what guys?! Captain Milkshake gave me his number!

**Ichigo: **LOL. I guess you meant 'Kuchiki'.

**Renji: **Yes! He gave me his number!

**Rukia: **…

**Ichigo: **Bazinga.

**Byakuya: **Michigan Jurassic, you are the most hamster football anthem that I have ever songbird banana fluff to meet.

**Ichigo:**

**Rukia:**

**Renji:**

**Uryu:**

**Orihime:**

**Chad:**

**Ichigo:** … what?

**Byakuya: **This rhinoceros device has a defective auto cucumber.

**Renji: **… WTF?

**Ichigo: **… LOL.

**Rukia: **… This is not funny, Michigan.

**Rukia: **Argh! I meant Ichigo!

**Byakuya: **Ghost arcade with monopoly.

**Ichigo: **Talk about having a fudged up auto correct.

**Rukia: **Fine coming from the guy who can't type the F word.


	2. Chapter 2

**Aizen: **Kaname, I find that once again we are out of tea.

**Gin: **Lord Aizen, might I inquire exactly where the tea is coming from? We're in a desert.

**Aizen: **Good observation, Gin. And the tea, like most other things related to me, is a mystery.

**Gin: **…?

**Grimmjow: **Bad news, guys.

**Ulquiorra: **Trash.

**Aizen: **Oh dear, what's wrong with my two favourite Espada?

**Yammy: **Huh?! I thought I was ur favourite!

**Aizen:**

**Yammy: **?

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **Lord Aizen...?

**Aizen:**

**Ulquiorra: **It appears Lord Aizen has nothing to say.

**Tousen: **So, the bad news...? Have you fudged up another mission, Grimmjow?

**Grimmjow:** What's that supposed to mean?! Is 'fudge' a new insult or something?!

**Ulquiorra: **Trash. It is auto correct for ****.

**Grimmjow: **o_O … I never knew that you knew words like that, Ulqui.

**Ulquiorra: **Trash.

**Aizen:** I am beginning to grow displeased and impatient. What exactly is the problem?

**Grimmjow: **It's Ulquiorra's fault. Don't look at me.

**Gin:** I highly doubt that.

**Ulquiorra: **The blue haired trash was supposed to be bringing me the food to give to the prisoner, Orihime Inoue.

**Grimmjow:** I still don't no why u asked me to do it. I never wanted to get involved.

**Ulquiorra: **Only the food never arrived...

**Grimmjow: **Yammy ate it. There was nothing I could do.

**Aizen: **I fail to see how this is an issue. Just go find some more food.

**Ulquiorra: **The prisoner grew very hungry and before we knew it she had come to another arrangement...

**Gin:** That being...?

**Grimmjow: **Long story short, Orihime Inoue is making lunch for _everyone_.

**Gin: **o_O

**Tousen:** o_O

**Stark:** o_O

**Barragon:** o_O

**Harribel:** o_O

**Ulquiorra:** '¬_¬

**Nnoitora:** o_O

**Grimmjow:** ;(

**Zommari:** o_O

**Szayel Apparo: **o_O

**Aareniero:** o_O

**Yammy:** o_O That's not good...

**Grimmjow: **Well no shit, Sherlock.

**Ulquiorra: **Are you displeased, Lord Aizen?

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **… is that a yes or a no?

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow:** Ulquiorra, is the fear growing in my stomach because of Lord Aizen's silence rational?

**Ulquiorra: **How should I know?

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **Somehow this feels even worse than disappointment.

**Aizen:**

**Orihime: **Hey everyone! Lunch is ready!

**Ulquiorra:** ...

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **JUST SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT! PLEASE!

**Gin: **I think you two are in a lot of trouble :)

**Ulquiorra: **… Lord Aizen?

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **… holy crap this is terrifying...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Aizen: ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ichigo: **Omigod, lol.

**Rukia: **What did you do now?

**Ichigo:** Renji and I kicked Uryu into the Soul Society and left him there.

**Ruka: **You are a terrible friend, you know that?

**Renji: **Trust me, it was worth it:)

**Kenpachi: **HEY ICHIGO COME AND FIGHT ME ALREADY!

**Ichigo: **… Is this Karma or something?

**Rukia: **LOL.

.

**Rukia: **Where are you guys? I can't your spiritual pressure anywhere?

**Ichigo: **Not important.

**Rukia: **Come on, there are like fifty thousand Hollows here, I need help.

**Ichigo: **You think you're over run with Hollows? _I'm_ in Hueco Mundo!

**Rukia: **… The **** are doing there?

**Byakuya: **...

**Rukia: **Brother?

**Renji: **I think you're in trouble for swearing. That's no way 4 a Kuchiki to behave, remember?

**Rukia: **N-never mind that! Why are you two in Hueco Mundo?!

**Ichigo:** …

**Renji: **…

**Rukia: **...Well?

**Ichigo: **...Uryu chased us here.

**Rukia: **… Lol.

**Renji: **It wasn't funny! He's ****ing scary when he's angry! He caught caught by Kurotsuchi and he dyed his hair pink or something and then he started screaming at us and was shooting loads of arrows and we had 2 come 2 Hueco Mundo!

**Rukia: **Whoa, back up a sec! What did you say about his hair?

**Ichigo: **Uryu's hair is pink. Kurotsuchi did something to it. And apparently it's our fault.

**Rukia: **...I wish I was there. I would've loved to have seen that.

**Ichigo: **You can. It's on YouTube.

**Rukia: **LOL. Can you guys come back? I really need help!

**Uryu: **WHERE ARE THE ****ING ********! SON OF A *****!

**Ichigo: **… To answer ur question, Rukia, no, we are not coming back.

**Rukia: **But there are so many Hollows... and Uryu's not helping, he's trying to find your human body to shoot it or something, so please come back!

**Ichigo: **I'm sure you'll manage.

**Ichigo: **Wait... HE'S GOING TO WHAT?!

.

**Renji: **So many Hollows...

**Rukia: **Leave then.

**Ichigo: **Funny! No.

**Rukia: **But no one's helping me with the ones here!

**Renji: **If u spent less time texting u'd get the job done quicker.

**Rukia: **You're dead when you get back.

**Ichigo: **I'm pretty sure Uryu's already got that covered.

**Ichigo: **Besides, u guys can complain about Hollows all u like! At least u don't have one living in ur fudging head!

**Hollow Ichigo: **1 day u'll get used to it.

**Ichigo: **o_O

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **HOW IN THE HELL DID _U_ GET A CELL PHONE?!

**Hollow Ichigo: **:P

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **… Hilarious. Now tell me.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Ha ha... no.

.

.

.

.

**Uryu: **Ichigo, Renji... I no ur in Hueco Mundo. I'm coming to kill u now.

**Ichigo: **D:

**Renji: **D:

**Hollow Ichigo: **U guys are sooooo ****ed.

**Rukia: **Indeed. We should film this. Part 2 of the video already on YouTube.

**Hollow Ichigo: **I like ur way of thinking!


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry if I offend anyone with the pairings.**

* * *

**Ichigo: **Dammit Rukia! Stop sending me pics of Chappy the Rabbit!

**Rukia: **Stop criticising my drawings then, Strawberry.

**Kisuke: **Heh heh. This is perfect :)

**Ichigo: **What r u talking about, Kisuke?

**Kisuke: **Nothing! I'm just enjoying a little idea that's going through my mind right now.

**Rukia: **That being...?

**Ichigo: **U should no by now that it's better not to ask.

**Kisuke: **Look at the 2 of u bickering! Ur so meant for each other!

**Rukia:**

**Ichigo:**

**Rukia:** … Are you high?

**Kisuke: **No no, I'm serious. Ur the perfect couple!

**Rukia: **What about Orihime?

**Ichigo: **… What _about_ Orihime?

**Rukia: **Ur so obtuse, Strawberry.

**Ichigo: **WHAT?! Besides, what about Renji?

**Rukia: **… What _about_ Renji?

**Ichigo: **Hypocrite.

**Kisuke: **… Yep. That's all the data I need. The 2 of u even think alike. Definitely meant for each other.

**Ichigo: **… The hell are you talking about, Kisuke?

**Kisuke: **I've been doing some matchmaking...

**Rukia: **Oh dear Lord.

**Kisuke: **… and I've realised that a lot of perfect couples have the same first letter to their surname!

**Ichigo: **… What?

**Kisuke: **_K_-urosaki and _K_-uchiki.

**Rukia: **… That's all you've got to go on?

**Kisuke: **Well, that and the fact that in all these couples I've put together do actually love each other, even if it's just one-sided.

**Ichigo:**

**Rukia:**

**Kisuke: **Hint: now's the time for any confessions.

**Ichigo: **… He's a creepy pervy shop keeper, Rukia. He probably is smoking _something_.

**Rukia: **Yeah...

**Kisuke: **1 day u'll realise I'm right ;)

**Rukia: **Yeah... so, moving on...

**Kisuke: **Oh? U wanna hear about other couples I've paired up?

**Rukia: **Well, actually...

**Kisuke: **Let's see here... Ishida and Inoue...

**Rukia: **That's _definitely_ one-sided.

**Ichigo: **What do u mean? I mean, I no Uryu likes Orihime, but who does she like?

**Kisuke: **… He really is an idiot, isn't he?

**Rukia: **I'm afraid so. Evidently it's incurable.

**Kisuke: **Although,on a related subject, ur the same when it comes to Renji.

**Rukia: **I'm going to ignore that. Who else have u paired up?

**Kisuke: **Abarai and Arisawa... that way Renji won't have to be lonely after all :)

**Ichigo: **… I cannot believe u just paired up Tatsuki and Renji.

**Rukia: **They don't even know each other!

**Ichigo: **Besides, what about Keigo? His surname's Asano. Shouldn't u have put Tatsuki with him?

**Rukia: **Ichigo! Don't join in!

**Kisuke: **Listen to the future wife, Ichigo. U'll never win in court. Women are so pushy.

**Ichigo: **o_O

**Rukia: **o_O

**Yoruichi: **What was that about women, Kisuke?

**Kisuke: **o_O Uh, nothing! Nothing at all!

**Yoruichi: **Hm... I see ur really into this matchmaking scheme... but what about pairing urself up?

**Rukia: **There's Captain Unohana. Urahara and Unohana... how about that?

**Kisuke: **No way, she's scary! Ukitake can have her!

**Ichigo: **Heh heh... don't worry. I'm sure there's someone out there who's just perfect for u, Kisuke.

**Kisuke: **Yeh... I'll find someone!

**Yoruichi: **Indeed.

**Kisuke: **Oh no! Is my little kitty friend jealous?!

**Yoruichi:**

**Rukia: **At this rate Kisuke you'll never get to see the court case. Yoruichi will have killed u before that.

**Kisuke:** Aww, don't worry Yoruichi~! One day u might even have the same first letter as me cos u'll be Mrs Urahara!

**Yoruichi: **

**Ichigo: **… He's just making it worse, isn't he?

**Rukia: **What was your first clue?

**Kisuke: **Ahem, so, where were we on the pairings?

**Ichigo: **I was saying that I find it hard to believe that Tatsuki and Renji would end up together. True, the A at the beginning of their surnames makes sense...

**Kisuke: **… Well there's always Aizen.

**Ichigo:**

**Rukia:**

**Yoruichi:**

**Kisuke: **… I'll just move on, shall I?

**Ichigo: **Good idea.

**Kisuke: **Okay: Toshiro and Momo?

**Ichigo: **And that's Karin's day ruined.

**Rukia: **Well, to be fair it does make sense. H-itsugaya and H-inamori. And they're childhood friends.

**Kisuke: **U c?! U were all sceptical at first but now ur joining in!

**Rukia: **… I still maintain the belief that he is on crack.

**Ichigo: **As do I :)

**Kisuke: **Yoruichi, look! Aren't those 2 perfect?

**Yoruichi: **Now that u mention it, yes...

**Ichigo: **HEY!

**Rukia: **HEY!

**Kisuke: **U cannot complain! There are even pairing names for u guys: IchiRuki, IshiHime, RenSuki, HitsuHina...

**Rukia: **… And UraYoru.

**Ichigo: **What? This is stupid! These ridiculous pairing names will never catch on.

**Yoruichi: **… Show him FanFiction, Rukia.

**Rukia: **Nah... the yaoi will just creep him out.

**Ichigo: **… What? What do u mean yaoi? WHO'VE THEY PAIRED ME UP WITH?!

**Rukia: **Lol, this'll be fun.

**Ichigo: **TELL ME!

**Rukia: **Mostly 'Grimm Kitty' and your inner Hollow.

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **D:

**Grimmjow: **D:

**Hollow Ichigo: **D:

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Rukia: **LOL.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ichigo: **Seriously bored. Ideas, any1?

**Rukia: **Preferably something that doesn't involve pissing off Quincies.

**Byakuya:**

**Rukia: **… What? I'm not even allowed to say 'piss' now?

**Renji: **Uh, Rukia, do u no who ur talking 2?

**Rukia: **Yes of course I do, fool.

**Ichigo: **… She's got guts.

**Renji: **Agreed.

**Orihime: **Hey, I've got it! Let's play Truth or Dare!

**Ichigo: **Ok.

**Rukia: **Ok?! I thought you hated games like this!

**Ichigo: **Oh no, this one's just fine. I can ask awkward questions for those who chicken out and pick 'Truth'!

**Rukia: **Uh, ok. Who wants to play?

**Ichigo: **Me.

**Orihime: **Me.

**Uryu: **Me.

**Ichigo: **Shit.

**Grimmjow: **Me.

**Ichigo: **Double shit.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Me.

**Ichigo: **Triple shit.

**Renji: **Me, and somebody shut him up.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Gladly :)

**Ulquiorra: **Me.

**Grimmjow: **?!

**Ulquiorra: **?

**Grimmjow: **… Whatever.

**Aizen: **Me.

**Rukia: **o_O

**Renji:** o_O

**Uryu:** o_O

**Orihime:** o_O

**Ichigo:** o_O

**Hollow Ichigo: **o_O

**Grimmjow:** o_O

**Ulquiorra:** ¬_¬

**Kisuke: **Ooh, me please!

**Ichigo: **… Can we allow that?

**Hollow Ichigo: **I believe I made it extremely clear on what I'd do if u didn't shut up.

**Ichigo: **Migraines for a month... shutting up now...

**Gin: **Me :)

**Rukia: **Starting to sound like a really bad idea now...

**Momo: **Me! Come on, Shiro!

**Toshiro: ***sigh* Me, I guess.

**Rangiku: **Ooh! Me!

**Rukia: **OK, WE GET IT, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY! Let's begin? Who wants to go first?

**Uryu: **Me.

**Rukia: **If I hear 'me' 1 more time...

**Uryu: **This 1's for Ichigo.

**Ichigo: **Oh, yippee...

**Hollow Ichigo:**

**Ichigo: **… sorry.

**Uryu: **Truth or Dare?

**Ichigo: **Truth.

**Hollow Ichigo:**

**Ichigo: **… I meant Dare.

**Uryu:** Ok. Run down the street naked.

**Ichigo: **… no.

**Rukia: **You have to do it, Strawberry.

**Ichigo: **Or what?

**Hollow Ichigo:** Hm... must be horrible having a bad headache for a whole month... wouldn't want that now, would we?

**Ichigo: **D:

**Ichigo: **...I hate u all.

**Rangiku: **I gotta film this!

**Toshiro: **Rangiku!

**Rukia: **Could be Part 3 of the video on YouTube.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Took the words right out of my mouth.

**Rangiku: **OH LOL, HE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT!

**Uryu: **Ah, vengeance is sweet. U next, Renji.

**Renji: **o_O Truth. Dear God, TRUTH!

**Rukia: **No, it's Ichigo's turn to ask someone Truth or Dare.

**Ichigo: **If I find that video on YouTube, I'll kill u Rukia.

**Rukia: **Rangiku filmed it, not me!

**Ichigo: **Yeh, but we all no she's gonna send it to everyone.

**Rukia: **True... LOL.

**Ichigo: **Rukia, Truth or Dare?

**Rukia: **Truth. Obviously.

**Ichigo: **What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened 2 u?

**Rukia: **I don't know... having to explain to my brother the human term 'Friends with benefits' was pretty awkward...

**Renji: **… How in the hell did u manage to start talking about that?

**Rukia: **Not important. Captain Hitsugaya, Truth or Dare?

**Toshiro: **(Why me?) Truth.

**Rukia: **Who would you rather kiss, Momo or Karin?

**Ichigo: **Uh, Rukia, ur treading on very dangerous ground there. And I don't just mean with Toshiro, or Karin or Momo. I mean with the hundreds of fangirls out there that like very specific pairings. The answer could upset a lot of people.

**Rukia: **Yeah, well somebody needs to have the guts to ask it, and it's not going to be any of you wimps.

**Renji: **She's either got guts, or she's completely nuts.

**Ichigo: **The latter, I think.

**Renji: **Now ur either brave or crazy. She'll kill u for that, Ichigo.

**Ichigo:** I'll die if she puts that thing on YouTube.

**Rukia: **Well, Captain Hitsugaya?

**Momo: **It's ok, Shiro. I won't mind the answer...

**Rangiku: **While deep down, the suspense is threatening to break her heart!

**Toshiro: **NOT HELPING, RANGIKU! I don't know... Momo, we've known each other for a really long time...

**Ichigo: **Good thing Karin's not here.

**Karin: **Aren't I?

**Ichigo: **HOLY JESUS! How are some people so good at popping up at any random time?!

**Kenpachi: **Like this?

**Ichigo: **D:

**Toshiro: **Can I change to Dare?

**Rukia: **Yeah, if you really want to... I dare you to hug Gin.

**Toshiro: **WTF?!

**Rukia: **You chickened out of Truth! You must suffer!

**Gin: **Come here Shiro!

**Toshiro: **(Really going to regret this...)

**Toshiro: **Ok, well, thanks for the nightmares. Hollow Ichigo, Truth or Dare?

**Hollow Ichigo: **What, why me?! I've been behaving myself! Right, King?

**Ichigo: **I'm not saying anything.

**Hollow Ichigo:** Uh, Dare.

**Ichigo: **There's a surprise ¬_¬

**Toshiro: **I dare u to kiss Rukia.

**Ichigo: **Ok, now I'm saying something.

**Toshiro: **Ur right, Uryu, vengeance is sweet. U had this coming, Rukia.

**Uryu: **Yeah, if you 2 get on so well when talking about those YouTube videos, then y not?

**Hollow Ichigo: **Seriously, what have I done wrong?

**Rukia: **… Is the thought of kissing me that disgusting, huh?

**Hollow Ichigo: **…

**Ichigo: **Say yes. I would love to see her beat the crap out of u.

**Toshiro: **My advice would b 2 just get it over with.

**Ichigo: **Hey, I don't agree with this!

**Kisuke: **Aww, someone's jealous!~ (told you my perfect couple theory was correct!)

**Hollow Ichigo: **Done.

**Ichigo: **Wait, what?

**Hollow Ichigo:** Grimmjow, Truth or Dare?

**Grimmjow: **Dare.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Give Ulquiorra a piggyback.

**Ichigo: **… U realise how wrong that looks, right?

**Kisuke: **Not to all the GrimmUlqui yaoi fangirls out there!

**Ichigo: **U sound like ur one of them.

**Kisuke: **Don't be ridiculous! I'm a male!

**Rukia: **Again, he is a creepy pervy shopkeeper. You shouldn't find this disturbing, Ichigo. It's perfectly normal, coming from him.

**Ichigo: **True.

**Kisuke: **Aw... u've hurt my feelings... ;(

**Ichigo: **¬_¬

**Rukia: **¬_¬

**Ulquiorra: **Grimmjow, I demand that you put me down right this very instant.

**Grimmjow: **I can't... I have to do the dare... Damn inner Hollow...

**Hollow Ichigo: **LOL.

**Ulquiorra: **Cero Oscuras.

**Grimmjow: **What?

_Connection with __**Grimmjow **__**Jaegerjaquez**__ has been lost._

**Ichigo: **o_O

**Hollow Ichigo: **Oops...

**Orihime: **Poor Grimmjow...

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **RUKIA, I'M GONNA KILL YOU! I FOUND THE VIDEO OF ME STREAKING DOWN THE STREET ON YOUTUBE!

**Hollow Ichigo: **I really wouldn't blame her.

**Ichigo: **Oh yeah, and why's that?

.

.

.

.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Hehe... 'Cause I'm the one who put it there.

.

.

.

.

_To be continued..._

* * *

**More Truth or Dare in the next chapter...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ichigo: **Ok, well Grimmjow's now in a hospital, no thanks to a _certain_ inner Hollow.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Ulquiorra almost killed him, not me.

**Ichigo: **Ur fault in the first place, cuz of that stupid dare.

**Ulquiorra: **Plus, I regret nothing.

**Urahara: **Aww... Ichi, do u actually care that Grimm kitty's hurt?

**Rangiku: **LOL. In that case, my next dare is for u, Ichigo.

**Ichigo: **I've already done a dare, and it's already on YouTube. Again, no thanks to u, Hollow.

**Hollow Ichigo:** Like Ulquiorra, I regret nothing.

**Ichigo: **Of course u don't. Ur pure evil.

**Rangiku: **Anyway~ The dare.

**Ichigo:** Here we go. I could always pick truth...

**Hollow Ichigo:**

**Ichigo: **Ahem, but I wouldn't. I prefer it when I don't have a headache.

**Hollow Ichigo: **:)

**Rangiku: **Visit Grimmjow in hospital with a bouquet of flowers.

**Rukia: **And somebody needs to go with him to film it...

**Hollow Ichigo: **… so we can put it on YouTube.

**Rukia: **We're so in sync.

**Hollow Ichigo:** Yeh.

**Ichigo: **WTF?

**Ichigo: **Y would u dare me to do that?

**Rangiku: **2 satisfy any GrimmIchi yaoi fangirls reading this. I predict them squealing in anticipation right at this very second!

**Ichigo: **Godsake...

**Urahara: **U gotta do it, Ichi. Might as well get it over with :)

**Ichigo: **If u 2 film this...

**Rukia: **We wouldn't!

**Hollow Ichigo: **Cross my heart.

**Ichigo:** U don't have 1.

**Hollow Ichigo: **… The flaw in an otherwise brilliant plan.

**Ichigo: **… Any specific flowers?

**Rangiku: ****};-**

**Ichigo: **…?

**Rangiku:** Roses, of course.

**Ichigo: **Oh, how very predictable. K, I'm off. Try not to fudge up the world while I'm gone.

**Orihime: **Ulquiorra, Truth or Dare?

**Ulquiorra: **Truth.

**Orihime: **Do u have any feelings for me?

**Ulquiorra: **… Dare.

**Orihime: **I dare you to add 6 teaspoons of sugar to a Double Espresso and then drink it.

**Chad: **I think u may have misheard Ichigo. He said to _not_ **** up the world.

**Orihime: **I just want to see what happens. Do u think he'll get hyper?

**Uryu: **Who wouldn't?

**Orihime: **Well, he _is_ Ulquiorra.

**Hollow Ichigo: **I wouldn't mind doing the dare.

**Chad: **… Did any1 else hear what Ichigo said, or was it just me?

**Orihime: **Have u done it yet, Ulqui?

**Ulquiorra: **:D

**Orihime: **… Ulquiorra?

**Ulquiorra: **:D

**Uryu: **Um, ok...

**Ulquiorra: **:D

**Yoruichi: **Byakuya, Truth or Dare?

**Uryu: **D:

**Orihime:** D:

**Chad: **D:

**Urahara: **D:

**Hollow Ichigo: **D:

**Rukia: **YAY!

**Byakuya: **'¬_¬

**Ulquiorra: **:D

**Uryu:** … That's just creepy.

**Ulquiorra: **:D

**Rukia: **Ulquiorra is high on sugar and caffeine... so...

**Hollow Ichigo: **We should be filming this.

**Rukia: **My thoughts exactly.

**Yoruichi: **Well, Byakuya?

**Byakuya: **… Truth.

**Yoruichi: **Who do u like more, Renji or Ichigo?

**Byakuya: **Renji.

**Renji: **8D Really?!

**Byakuya:** Unless u are referring to yaoi. In which case u are sick.

**Yoruichi: **Of course not, Byakuya. Y would think that? ;^

**Byakuya:**

**Urahara: **K, who next?

**Urahara: **Oh, wait... I'm being sent a YouTube link...

**Uryu: **So am I.

**Rukia: **I think we all are...

**Orihime: **It's called 'GrimmIchi- a True Story'...

**Chad: **And it's the next part to those videos on YouTube...

**Ichigo: **THAT IS IT! RUKIA, HOLLOW, I DON'T CARE WHICH 1 OF U DID IT, I'M GONNA KILL BOTH OF U!

**Rukia: **I swear it wasn't me!

**Hollow Ichigo: **Ditto!

**Ichigo: **Well, 1 of u is lying. Let me think who's more likely 2 b doing that...

**Hollow Ichigo: **… IT WASN'T ME!

**Gin: **Hehe... cuz no1 would expect me to have done it ;)

**Ichigo: **o_O

**Aizen: **Good work, Gin. All part of my brilliant plan.

**Ichigo: **D:

**Hollow Ichigo: **...Am I off the hook?

**Rukia: **… And me?

**Ichigo: **…

**Ichigo: **AIZEN!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Rukia: **Look everyone, it's Chappy!

(\_/)

(='.'=)

(")_(")

.

.

.

.

.

**Ulquiorra: **:D


	7. Chapter 7

**I would update more often, but as you all know (hopefully) finding inspiration for humor can be a bitch. I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with this chapter, but I have got something interesting planned as a Halloween special. You should see it on the 31st unless a) The universe has exploded, b) The universe has imploded (there is a difference!), c) I have died or d) [insert any old wild and random excuse here].**

**Probably not my funniest chapter, but I hope you enjoy~**

* * *

**Orihime: **We should play another game!

**Ichigo: **After all that shit in the last one... count me out.

**Hollow Ichigo:**

**Ichigo: **… Count me in.

**Rukia: **The problem is, I'm not familiar with most human games. What exactly do you have in mind?

**Kisuke: **There's always Seven Minutes in Heaven.

**Rukia: **Ooh that sounds interesting, what's that?

**Ichigo: **No, we are not playing that. Ever.

**Rukia: **But what is it?

**Kisuke: **It's a great game where u spend seven minutes enjoying urself with a friend.

**Rukia: **That sounds fun! Why can't we play it, Ichigo?

**Ichigo: **o_O

**Ichigo: **I'm not playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It's Kisuke's perfect opportunity 2 fix me up in some Yaoi pairing, which is probably with Grimmjow. Did u no that there are hundreds of fan fictions about us?

**Kisuke: **Actually it goes into the thousands.

**Ichigo: **… U sick bastard.

**Kisuke: **Actually I was thinking this is the perfect opportunity 2 try out my perfect couple theory!

**Rukia: **I don't understand- I thought the game was about having fun with a friend for seven minutes?

**Kisuke: **Oh believe me Rukia, it is fun.

**Yoruichi: **And who exactly have u been playing it with, Kisuke?

**Kisuke: **o_O

**Orihime: **What's his perfect couple theory?

**Rukia: **That's not very important, really.

**Renji: **No, I'm interested too. Has he matched us all up with each other?

**Ichigo: **Honestly, it's complete nonsense.

**Kisuke: **Awwwk~waard~

**Ichigo: **Asshole.

**Ichigo: **Why don't we play something a little less disgusting... like the triangle game?

**Hollow Ichigo: **Or _the_ Game, which for the record u all just lost.

**Ichigo: **D:

**Rukia: **D:

**Renji: **D:

**Orihime: **D:

**Kisuke: **D:

**Yoruichi: **D:

**Ulquiorra: **:D

**Rukia: **… Is he still high?

**Ichigo: **I think so.

**Rukia: **What's the triangle game?

**Ichigo: **First off, does anyone actually no how 2 play it or how u can win it?

**Hollow Ichigo: **Yes.

**Ichigo: **?

**Hollow Ichigo: **I can read ur mind, dumbass.

**Ichigo: **Oh... right... anyway, I will draw a triangle and u guys have 2 guess who it belongs 2.

**Rukia: **Uh, ok.

**Ichigo: **Right: I'm drawing a triangle between Kisuke's hat, my Soul Reaper badge and the portal to Hueco Mundo. Who does the triangle belong 2?

**Hollow Ichigo: **Me.

**Ichigo: **Uh, yeh, ur right. It does.

**Rukia:** … How in the hell do you work that out?

**Ichigo: **Ur never gonna work out the answer after only 1 round. I'm drawing a triangle between Rukia's latest crappy Chappy drawing, Renji's headband and Uryu's sewing kit. Who does it belong 2?

**Renji: **R u just picking objects at random or do they have some significance?

**Orihime: ** I don't get it.

**Uryu: **Me neither.

**Ichigo: **Ha ha! The 'smart' Uryu Danish can't work it out!

**Uryu: **And the pathetic Ichigo Kurosaki still needs to fix his auto correct.

**Ichigo: **STFU.

**Rukia: **What does STFU mean? And my drawings are not crap!

**Byakuya:**

**Rukia: **HOW IS CRAP A BAD WORD?! ****'S SAKE!

**Renji: **She's getting braver and braver...

**Ichigo: **Yeh...

**Ichigo: **So, any of u worked it out yet?

**Rukia: **Just give us the answer.

**Ichigo: **Hollow, will u do the honours?

**Hollow Ichigo: **It belongs to Renji.

**Renji: **Really?!

**Ichigo:** … U guys really don't get it, do u? LOL.

**Rukia: **That's because you haven't explained the rules properly!

**Ichigo: **There's nothing I can say without giving away how 2 work it out!

**Renji: **Then y don't we play another game? Like the 1 where some1 starts a sentence and every1 takes it in turns to say a word to make a funny sentence.

**Orihime: **Yeh, that sounds fun!

**Rukia: **And a lot less confusing!

**Renji: **K, I'll start: _The._

**Rukia: **_Rabbit._

**Orihime: **_Wanted._

**Uryu: **_To._

**Hollow Ichigo: **_Kill._

**Grimmjow: **_His._

**Ulquiorra: **_Sugar._

**Orihime:** … Do u want 2 get high again, Ulqui?

**Grimmjow: **It was the experience of a lifetime for him.

**Uryu: **Don't u want to go, Ichigo?

**Hollow Ichigo: **He's sulking cuz we won't play his game anymore. And u all just lost the Game again.

**Uryu: **(How does he deal with u...?) K, so we have _The rabbit wanted to kill his sugar._

**Kisuke: **_Because._

**Youruichi:** _The._

**Ulquiorra: **_Coffee._

**Grimmjow: **Yep, he definitely wants to get high again.

**Chad: **_Was._

**Hollow Ichigo: **_Crap._ Cuz seriously, it is. U call this thing inside ur inner world a coffee machine, King?!

**Ichigo: **… THERE'S COFFEE IN MY INNER WORLD?! IS THAT Y UR ALWAYS HYPER AND INSANE?!

**Hollow Ichigo: **No, _that's_ probably cuz of my hidden stash of crack in 1 of the skyscrapers.

**Ichigo: **D:

**Rukia: **Ichigo, why do you have drugs inside your head.

**Uryu: **Kind of tells u something about Ichigo, doesn't it?

**Ichigo: **HEY, STFU! CARRY ON PLAYING RENJI'S STUPID GAME OR SOMETHING!

**Orihime: **Ok, new game, I'll start: _Ichigo._

**Hollow Ichigo: **_Exploded._

**Rukia: **Lol.

**Ichigo:** … Don't you wish...

**Grimmjow: **Just a funny thought.

**Uryu: **Indeed.

**Ichigo: **Exactly how many of u are agreeing with this?!

**Ichigo: **… Don't answer that.

**Renji: **_And._

**Hollow Ichigo: **_We._

**Rukia: **_Put._

**Hollow Ichigo: **_It._

**Rukia: **_On._

**Hollow Ichigo: **_YouTube._

**Ichigo: **o_O

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **I will have my revenge... just u wait and c... with this new app I have downloaded on my phone, none of u shall be alive by the end... heh heh heh...

.

.

.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Hey, _I'm_ supposed 2 b the evil half! AND YOU LOST THE GAME AGAIN!

.

* * *

**And his new app will be extremely important in my next update, the Halloween special! Come on, I want reviews! Guess what the app it please!**

**(Also, if anyone doesn't know how to play the Triangle Game (which is probably most of you), I want guesses on how to work out the answer!)**

**(And maybe one day, if you people are lucky, I might actually do Seven Minutes in Heaven!)**

**See you on Halloween (hopefully)!**


	8. Chapter 8

**HAPPY HOLLOWEEN! XD**

**Hope this is funny enough for you guys... I really try...**

**Anyway, any character death (and believe me, there is some) that occurs in this chapter will not effect any future chapters, so please don't rant at me about the people I have killed, because they will be resurrected or something next time. Unless I ever feel like doing a sequel. This is just a Halloween special.**

**(Also, if you haven't already seen it, watch the Bleach version of This Is Halloween on YouTube. There are different versions, but the one by MultiMaster17 is my favorite.)**

**Nobody guessed what I'd do in this chapter so... surprise!**

* * *

**Rukia: **So, what's your terrifying new app?

**Ichigo:** Something that will bring u people 2 ur knees.

**Rukia: **Kindly elaborate.

**Ichigo: **Death Text.

**Uryu: **… What?

**Ichigo: **Surely u've watched the anime Death Note? Or at least read the manga?

**Rukia: **I am not familiar with this... 'Death Note'.

**Ichigo: **Basically it's this little black notebook and if u write a human's name it it, they die within 40 seconds.

**Uryu: **And what exactly do u mean when u say... 'Death Text'?

**Ichigo: **I thought u were supposed to b smart?

**Rukia: **So you're saying that you can text someone's name and they will die?

**Ichigo: **:)

**Renji: **I thought it only works on humans?

**Rukia: **Yes, I am looking up the rules right now. It says that Death Notes originally belong to Gods of Death, or Shinigami. Shinigami cannot be killed by the Death Note. As Soul Reapers are Godsof Death, you shouldn't be able to kill us.

**Renji: **Sorry Ichigo. But u no, Uryu is still an option.

**Uryu: **HEY!

**Ichigo: **Lucky for me, the rules r different on Death Text. I can kill ANY1.

**Renji: **Don't u need 2 picture the face of the person u want 2 kill when writing their name?

**Ichigo: **Yeh, that rule still applies. No problem. I no what all of u look like. All I have to do it type ur name in, then underline it 2 confirm I want u dead and I'm not confusing u with some1 I just want 2 talk 2. If it's not underlined, apparently it won't work.

**Rukia: **But even if it did work, you wouldn't actually use it.

**Ichigo:**

**Rukia:** … Would you?

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo:**

**Rukia: **o_O

**Renji:** o_O

**Uryu: **o_O

**Orihime: **o_O

**Chad: **o_O

**Ichigo: **With this Death Text app, I could rid the world of evil.

**Uryu: **And don't you sound like Light Yagami, the main character of Death Note?

**Hollow Ichigo: **Not 2 mention his surname's 'I'm a gay' backwards.

**Ichigo: **… Ur dead.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Sorry 2 burst ur bubble, but I don't _have_ a name.

**Ichigo:** Then I hearby christen u Hichigo Shirosaki. Now I need 2 underline that.

**Hollow Ichigo: **What kind of a crappy name is that? Who in the hell would ever call me 'Hichigo Shirosaki'?!

**Rukia: **… Has _he _ever read FanFiction?

**Ichigo: **… Evidently not...

**Rukia: **What about Ogihci? They call him that as well. That's _your_ name backwards. So are you going to use Death Text then?

**Ichigo: **Well, if it does actually work, I could defeat my most powerful enemies using it.

**Uryu: **True... but isn't it very cowardly? Not like ur supposed to be at all... Ichigo Kurosaki, 'savior of the Soul Society'.

**Ichigo:** Ur jealous.

**Uryu: **Jealous of someone with such a low IQ? I don't think so.

**Ichigo: **Uryu Ishida.

**Uryu: **?!

**Ichigo: **:)

**Uryu: **D:

.

.

.

.

.

**Uryu: **U ****ING SON OF A *****! I'M GOING TO ****ING KILL U!

**Ichigo: ***yawn* Well u better hurry up. U've only got thirty-four seconds left.

**Rukia: **ICHIGO! How will he die?!

**Ichigo: **Same as with the Death Note. If u don't specify the death, then it's a heart attack.

**Uryu: **ujwehnlogvehjghwle

**Rukia: **…?

**Uryu: ***gasp* U TRY TYPING WHEN UR HAVING A HEART ATTACK!

**Rukia: **Rude. I'm starting to think u deserve this, always criticising Soul Reapers and everything.

**Hollow Ichigo: **So it wouldn't be completely evil to ask if we can film it and put it on YouTube?

**Ichigo: **U have my consent!

**Uryu: **I HATE ALL OF U!

_Connection with **Uryu Ishida** has been lost._

**Ichigo: **Wait... it actually worked? He wasn't faking it?

**Rukia: **I feel so... evil...

**Hollow Ichigo: **I feel normal.

**Orihime: **We have 2 get rid of that app!

**Chad: **Agreed.

**Renji: **It's like a sick way of playing God.

**Hollow Ichigo: **Coming from a Death God...

**Grimmjow: **R u people crazy?! This is freaking awesome!

**Ichigo: **Not helping the situation, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez!

.

.

**Ichigo: **Oops...

**Kisuke: **ICHIGO! DO U NO HOW MANY FANGIRLS U JUST PISSED OFF?!

**Rukia: **Including yourself, Kisuke?

**Kisuke: **WAAAAAAA!

**Ichigo: **It was an accident! This app comes with auto underline!

_Connection with Grimmjow **Jaegerjaquez** has been lost._

**Rukia: **… Again.

**Ulquiorra:**

**Orihime: **Do u... do u think Ulqui actually cares that Grimmjow's dead?

**Ulquiorra:**

**Rukia: **It's almost as if he's sad.

**Ichigo: **I feel terrible...

**Ulquiorra:**

**Ichigo: **I'm really sorry. (There, I said it!) I'm sorry I killed Grimmjow.

**Ulquiorra: **:D

**Ichigo: **IS HE STILL HIGH?!

**Renji: **U need to delete the app. Now, b4 any1 else dies.

**Ichigo: **Just let me deal with some1 that no1 will miss.

**Hollow Ichigo: **… Oh shit.

**Rukia: **NOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T KILL MY YOUTUBE BUDDY!

**Ichigo: **U'd care?!

**Hollow Ichigo: **NO KING, I'LL B GOOD, I SWEAR!

**Ichigo: **U promise? No more annoying laughter or insults? No more death threats? No more trolling by telling me I've lost the Game (which _u've_ just lost)? No more _This Song Is Stuck Inside My Head And It Won't Go Away_ at 3 in the morning?

**Rukia: **?

**Ichigo: **Don't ask. Death by Hollow, that would b a pretty ironic way 2 go. Maybe Ulquiorra will want revenge when he's no longer high.

**Hollow Ichigo: ***whimpering* I promise!

**Ichigo: **And ur never gonna break it, no matter what?

**Hollow Ichigo: **PROMISE!

**Ichigo: **Sheesh, I wasn't actually going 2 kill u. Gullible, much?

**Hollow Ichigo: **o_O

**Ichigo: **Who's trolling now? ;)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Rukia: **Heads up, we're all being sent another video!

.

_A camera is switched on to reveal a load of static, obviously very poor quality. As it dims, a dark room is shown, the only light coming from the camera itself and a small computer on the floor in front, facing away from the camera. Sitting behind the computer is Kisuke Urahara, wearing a simple white long-sleeved shirt and tatty jeans, crouching on the floor, nibbling his thumb nail as he reaches down for a lollipop lying among an assortment of other delicacies. He is not wearing his hat, and has specifically messed up his hair even more and dyed it black, with dark shadows under his eyes._

_ 'Hello everyone,' he says in a calm voice. 'This is L.'_

.

**Ichigo: **He's taking the whole Death Note concept a bit 2 seriously, isn't he?

.

_'I imagine our young Ichigo Kurosaki has just made some 'witty' remark,' Kisuke/L continues. 'Little does he know I have put a video of him in the shower on YouTube. I'm sure Hollow Ichigo and Rukia will be very proud of me.'_

.

**Ichigo: **HOW IN THE HELL DID HE GET THAT FOOTAGE?!

**Rukia: **Lol... shame, I always though Ulquiorra would make a better L... especially with his new love for caffeine and sugar.

**Ichigo: **This is it... this is ABSOLUTELY IT! Kisuke Urahara... or L Lawliet, or whatever... Death by... Cero Oscuras!

**Rukia: **Seriously, Ichigo?!

.

_Kisuke/L grins at the camera for a few more seconds, plopping blocks of sugar into his coffee, before a door at the back swings open and Ulquiorra stands there, also dressed up as L, with Aizen right behind him as Light._

_ 'Cero Oscuras!'_

_._

_Having relocated to a new room because the old one was destroyed, Ulquiorra/L crouches down in front of the camera, enjoying a coffee with a high quantity of sugar, a rather insane look that has never been seen before in his emerald eyes as he crouches down, nibbling his thumb nail._

_ Behind him, Aizen/Light pulls a cell phone out of his pocket, and smiles down at the screen._

_ 'Yes... I'm sure this 'Death Text' app will work very well with my plan.'_

_ The screen dims to black with that final remark._

.

**Ichigo: **Oh... _crap_...

* * *

**If you want Text to continue, which a lot of you do, either review with ideas or PM me. It's really hard to find inspiration for humor, as I've said before. Believe me, I can easily see this becoming my most successful story one day, and I really don't want to abandon it!**

**Hope you enjoyed~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yo, guys! I've got a migraine. Why should you care? Because it's insensitive to leave mean reviews for people who have migraines. And yes, I did just make that up.**

**The only reason I'm updating is because awesome people like _Hylla _and _WarriorofAnime_ give me reason to. Also, I can wake up the next morning and find loads of reviews, which I love. :)**

**Where can you find humour in the world? By watching random shit on YouTube. The songs are _Peanut Butter Jelly Time_,_ Banana Phone_ and _I'm A Banana_.**

**So, yeah, bear in mind I am not very well, I will be going into hospital on the 20th (not that it affects anyone in any way because my updating pattern for this story is irregular) and if one more person asks me what the Game is instead of taking some time to look it up on Google, I will not update this story again.**

***speaking very condescendingly* Do I make myself clear?**

**Yes, I am in a bad mood. You generally are in one when you have a migraine.**

* * *

**Ichigo: **It's peanut butter jelly time! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

**Rukia: **… What?

**Uryu: **Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, BANANA PHONE!

**Rukia: **Auto correct?

**Orihime: **No, they're the lyrics to songs.

**Rukia: **You're kidding.

**Renji: **I'm a banana, I'm a banana, I'm a banana, LOOK AT ME MOVE!

**Rukia: **… Am I the only one who's seriously confused?

**Ichigo: **DO THE PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT!

**Uryu:** I've got this feeling, so appealing, for us 2 get 2gether and sing. SING!

**Renji: **Banana power, banana power, banana power, POW-POW-POWWWER!

**Rukia: **SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON!

.

.

.

**Renji: **Uh oh! Banana time! Uh oh! Banana time! Uh oh! Banana time!

**Rukia: **STOP!

**Renji: **U no the words?!

**Rukia: **What the hell is wrong with you three?!

**Mayuri: **They're high on this new drug I was testing on them. Interesting... it makes you spew out random YouTube nonsense...

**Renji: **LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOK AT ME MOVE!

**Rukia: **Renji, careful. That's a tree. Don't run towards it.

_Connection with **Renji Abarai **has been lost._

**Rukia: **Moron.

.

**Gin: **U seem bored, Lord Aizen.

**Aizen: **Amuse me.

**Grimmjow: **Ooh ooh! PICK ME!

**Aizen: **Yes, Grimmjow? Or should I call u Grimm-kitty?

**Grimmjow: **Ulqui and I found this really awesome game in the world of the living, and it was going great until he almost killed me.

**Grimmjow: **(Grimm-kitty?)

**Aizen: **It sounds dangerous... I'm listening.

**Grimmjow: **It's called Truth or Dare. But for the record, u should probably keep Ulqui away from the caffeine and sugar.

**Ulquiorra: **I don't know what you're talking about, trash. ¬_¬

**Grimmjow: **Look at this: **:D **. Ringing any bells?

**Ulquiorra: **Go and play with a ball of string.

**Grimmjow: **Fudge u.

**Grimmjow: **Fudging auto correct.

**Aizen: **What is this... 'Truth or Dare' that u speak of?

**Ulquiorra: **We shall demonstrate: Grimmjow, Truth or Dare?

**Grimmjow: **Dare.

**Ulquiorra: **Go jump off the tallest tower of Las Noches and die.

**Grimmjow: **What? No fair!

**Aizen: **I authorize this.

**Gin: **I'll get the camera!

**Aizen:** I'm going to allow that.

**Grimmjow: **D:

**Grimmjow: **There's no way in hell I'm going to-

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **How in the hell did you manage to interrupt a text message?!

**Aizen: **I have the power of hypnosis. How do u actually know I did as u suggested, and that ur brain is not just seriously confused?

**Grimmjow: **Wh... what?

**Aizen: **Do the dare, Grimmjow.

**Grimmjow: **No! I don't want to! I'll die!

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **:{

**Aizen:**

**Grimmjow: **… goodbye, cruel world...

**Grimmjow: **… it was fun...

.

.

.

**Gin: **R u going to tell him before he jumps that you'll get Orihime to reverse his death?

**Aizen: **Nah... it's funnier if he doesn't no.

**Aizen: **;)

**Ichigo: **It's peanut butter jelly time!

**Aizen: **How did u break into Las Noches, boy?

**Renji: **WITH BANANA POWER!

**Uryu: **I can't text on my banana phone! :(

**Rukia: **They are _so_ high right now. It's gonna be embarrassing for them when it wears off.

**Hollow Ichigo: **U r filming it, right?

**Rukia: **Oh yeah ;)

**Ichigo: **AIZEN, TRUTH OR DARE?!

**Aizen: **As I haven't seen any1 demonstrate Truth yet, I shall pick Dare.

**Ichigo: **I dare you to do Gangnam Style!

**Aizen: **… Very well.

**Hollow Ichigo: **FILM IT FILM IT FILM IT!

**Rukia: **Already doing it.

**Grimmjow: **WTF IS GOING ON?! I COME BACK FROM THE DEAD, DECIDE TO TAKE THE NEWLY INSTALLED ELEVATOR TO GET BACK UP HERE AND THE DOORS OPEN AND I FIND LORD AIZEN DOING... _WHAT THE FUDGE IS HE DOING?!_

**Ichigo: **It's Gangnam Style.

**Grimmjow: **I'm gonna need therapy...

**Rukia: **Gin, Truth or Dare?

**Gin: **Um... Dare?

**Rukia: **Hug Captain Hitsugaya.

**Gin: **Ok~

**Toshiro: **WTF?! NOT AGAIN!

**Rukia: **Ur right, Captain...

**Hollow Ichigo: **… vengeance is sweet.

**Rukia: **Indeed.

**Toshiro: **LET GO OF ME!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **Turn it off.

**Hollow Ichigo: **What?

**Ichigo: **That drug has worn off and I do not want to hear YouTube songs inside my brain. Plus, this one is annoying and extremely catchy.

.

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **This song is stuck inside my head and it won't go away... it started when I first woke up and it's been here all day... I don't understand it, why did this 1 stick? … There's so many cooler songs I wish my brain would pick...

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **Told u. I said 2 turn it off.

.

.

.

.

.

**Gin: **We should make Lord Aizen do the Harlem Shake! Or Grimmjow!

**Grimmjow: **No more, please! My life already literally ended!

.

.

.

.

**Rukia: **Is it possible for anyone to actually troll Aizen?

**Ichigo: **No, but it's perfectly possible for him 2 troll us.

**Aizen: **U all lost the game.

**Hollow Ichigo: **That's my line!

.

.

.

.

**Ichigo: **Trolled again...

* * *

**I want at least four (because it's my lucky number) really good ideas on what to do in this story, or don't expect it to be updated again any time soon. I'm serious (even though I'm grinning evilly as I type this).**

**BAI BAI XD ~**


End file.
